Opening night of round 2!

Yup. The first hockey post on my site. This one will be quick. Just a few questions that I want answered tonight!

1 – Will Backstrom stop playing like a rookie? From what little I saw from the first round (because I was in Jamaica and yes I am bragging), it appears that Backstrom hates playing well.  He used to be a force with the puck. Now he is simply the guy that gets the puck before someone else does. Like a gliding checkpoint for the puck. Granted he’s one hell of a checkpoint.  Like customs at JFK but he can’t score anymore. He has missed at least 10 or 15 wide open or fast break goals this year. He’s almost too calm and too stoic. Somebody needs to pour kerosene on his behind so he can get fired up!  He’s not only my favorite player…he’s the reason I bleed red!

2 – Now that the Bears are out of the playoffs, will Matty Perreault make an appearance?
The kid is good. Regardless of what anyone says(including that comedian Boudreau), he is solid and he can be good on this level. He worked on his D in Hershey (I hope…that’s what he was there for) and he can be a good force when it comes to creating offensive chances with our veteran wingers. Perreaultcho-cinco aka MP85 aka Matty Sticklift had one of the best shooting %s on our team at 17.1% during the regular season and if we let him go he will be the next Kyle Wilson or Alexandre Giroux. One day I will write a post on how Matty P makes everyone around him better. Plus he got his nose busted for nothin???

3 – Will Holtby come in if we get in trouble?
Varly wants to play, but Neuvirth has played like he belongs on a trophy stand and plated in gold (minus one period against the now golfing NY Rangers). As impressive as he has been, Holtby is the most impressive youngin’ thus far. But don’t forget…we all were calling for gnarly Varly two years ago around this time, and now he might as well be drying out game gloves with all of the playing time he’s getting. Careful what we ask for!  Hold on for Holtby!

Jamaica Mon.

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So I got married…sorry, WE got married on April 16th (apparently there is no more I so I’ve been told).  The wedding was amazing and I can’t believe its over. It was amazing being around all of that love and support. I honestly haven’t felt anything like that before!  I will post a link to the pics once they are done. I have seen a preview and they are amazing so far!

So on the 17th we took off for Jamaica. This was what I was REALLY looking forward to. 🙂 JK kinda

We arrived at the airport at like 10pm and drove to the hotel which was about 90 minutes away. Finally we arrive at The Jewel at Dunn’s River…home for 8 days.

We hop off the bus and are greeted with a blue drink called the “Jam of the day” and a cold wet towel!  Serve me please! Yes!

We then get to our rooms and crash immediately. We wake up the next morning and I open the door to the balcony that over looks the water and nearly faint…I mean pass out.  Guys don’t faint.

The view was incredible! The bluest water I have ever seen. Palm trees, white sand, reefs. Paradise!

For the next 8 days we proceeded to do a lot of nothing! Relaxed, read on the beach, napped by the pool, drank fruity drunks like “cold and deadly” or “Jamaican smile” or “Jamaican sunrise“.

Food
The food was good. The breakfast was pretty amazing everyday. Then the meals got bland, repetitive, and old very quickly. The brick oven pizza was amazing…the first three times we ate it. Then it got old!  The only snack foods we had were pretty much stale nachos, butterless popcorn, half of a quesadilla, and fries. Then the ketchup wasn’t Heinz! It was saltfree tomato squeeze…..what?!

By the end of the week L was making up drinks. “Can I have a Pina colada with extra rum and a shot of rum cream on the top with a little strawberry mix on the bottom and a cherry…ooh and a pineapple slice please?” Of course they all loved her so they’d say “yah mon, no problem for you sunshine.” Then shed turn to me so that I could be sure to tip the guy with a crush on my wife. (This is my life)

People
This was the highlight of the trip!  The people were so nice and helpful!  Everyone there was always ready to help! Even if they were just standing around they’d ask us how were doing. Then when we answered they’d always say “Jah mon, no problem“. Everyone! At first I though it was a show…NO! Everyone was “Yah mon” and “No problem” for everything.

When they talked to us Americans we could understand almost everything they were saying, but when they talked to each othere they used slang and the accent was off the charts incoherent! They also have a different inflection with their voices and it makes them sound rude or angry compared to Americans.

The two times we went off the resort were pretty annoying because people were asking us to buy things and ride jetskis and horses and buy illegal drugs(we said no)!  It got to the point where when a local would talk to us we would just say No. One guy didn’t dig that at all. He goes, “see they tell you to say No to evryting but that’s not nice.  A smart guy like me, just wanted to say hi to da boss lady and show respek“. I actually felt really bad because he really wasn’t selling anything. He asked me once if we wanted some CDs and I said no thanks and then he was just saying “respek“.

One local on the last day was really nice and asked where we were from as I am standing with L. I say DC and he goes “Yah mon! Washington, lot of black people.”  Then he turned into Marcus Garvey and told me to stay black and all kinds of other junk which I just “yah mon’d“.  On the first day, a guy told me that I would be a king in Jamaica because I have a white wife lol. I sure didn’t get that feeling, they still robbed me blind at the shops. No salutes or bows and “your highness“es. I think he just wanted L for himself.

Town, area, environment
I told you about the water and how amazing it was already. Well we went on a booze cruise/catamaran trip to Dunn’s River falls. We stopped in the middle of the ocean to go snorkling which was awesome. We took a bunch of underwater photos but I’m sure they will come out to look awful but I will post them when I get a chance!  We then climbed a 940 foot waterfall in which I proceeded to get 3 lbs of rocks and sand in my shoe. This was really cool! We then got on the boat and that’s when the booze portion of the tour started. A few 18 year old girls were out of control!

The coolest part of the island is that its the same weather everyday. It got about 70 degrees at night and got cold with the Caribbean breeze. During the day its about 85 and sunny everyday. The breeze makes it perfect. The ocean water was warmer than the pool water and was so clear!  The resort had a 200 yard beach so we couldn’t really do much on it, but we could see holes where crabs had burroughed themselves in! That was cool! Other couples actually saw the crabs! Lucky.

We were right next to a local shopping village so locals were constantly calling us over to the fence to get us to buy stuff and ride the Jetskis. Finally I gave in and crossed the padlocked fence. It felt like jail which was completely odd! then we rode the jetski for “30 minutes” which was probably 12. We then got allowed back in by security and continued with our honeymoon. The jetski was awesome but not worth what I paid for it!  That’s for sure. But its a honeymoon!

The weather everyday is, without exagerrating, equivalent to the best day in DC.  Every! Day!

Travel

Wow. They drive on the left side of the road and CJs (crazy jamaicans) drive on both sides. The bus driver “the right side is suicide”.  Then he proceeded to go around every car he saw…we spent half the trip on the right side!  They don’t have street lights so they use their high beams like 80% of the time.  They also tailgate within 8 inches of the car in front of them but nobody gets mad or road rage. If an American drove like our bus driver drove he would have been shot at, cussed out, followed, and probably side swiped.  But we got everywhere safely….and late.

Time is merely a suggestion. 10:20 sounds precise but that’s merely a roundabout time. We even stopped after an hour and a half of driving for a bathroom break and to get “snacks“…we were 15 minutes from our final destination….WHY? Cuz for Jamaicans, being late is “no problem mon”

We had some troubles getting back because of the storms.  We didn’t land until like 6am when we were supposed to land 4 hours prior but that’s part of traveling nowadays. No huge surprises there.

Conclusion

To conclude this massive recap. Jamaica is a place we will definitely return to!  We will stay at a. Different resort but we had an amazing time! It was beyond our wildest dreams and it was absolutely worth the wait!  But now that I am back in the states…its time to focus on this wonderful life of ours.

Poll: What should G&L do now that they’re married?!

My Sick Six! Plus a Bonus!

This is a new thing I’m going to do.  I get to expand blog!  I bartered with L and we both win!  Which means more posts! I will still be writing about some great stuff dealing with me and L.  I have a great post coming in the next day or two recapping our trip to Jamaica!!!

But today, I have six seven songs you shuld listen to in order to complete your life. Yes your life.  Your life was incomplete before you heard these songs.  Now you are completely awesome.  Enjoy your awesome day, awesome one!

Gossip – Pop goes the World – Whoa…don’t even know who this is…but this song has me jammin…like a pop, girl version of Cee-Lo!…maybe not.

Day 26 – Co star – One of the many groups who’s careers were murdered viciously by P Diddy.  Could have been the next New Edition or 112 or Jagged Edge…but then Que thought he was Bobby Brown and started getting an attitude and Diddy ruined the whole group…idiot

Outkast – SpottieOttieDopaliscious  –  I think I skipped school to buy this album.  This is the first time I heard an Atlanta accent spoken.  Couldn’t believe it.  I was hooked.  I couldn’t stop listening.  I remember riding around in my cousins car pumpin this at full volume!  Couldn’t have been happier.  Now I found my own SpottieOttieDopaliscious girl 🙂

The Script – Live Like We’re Dying – They’re Irish! – Kris Allen covered their song, or they gaveit to him for his first single.  Either way,  the original is greater!

Kris Allen – Heartless – So good that he put it on his album.  There are multiple versions of this.  Listen to them all as they are all very different and all very good! The cover thief covers Kanye’s song Heartless.  One of the best covers I’ve ever heard actually.

Jenny Lane – Say say say – Everyone I show this video to or play this song for, hates it.  Including L.  I like it for some reason!  so…I’m saying you should listen to it!  But she has a very good voice!

Mint Condition – What kind of man would I be – I remember almost murdering me one day because I was singing this and drumming in my room to this at full volume with my headphones on.  Needless to say, I was angry that interrupted the song!

Please post comments!  I love em!

Kyle Wilson is my favorite Blue Jacket

Yesterday we took a party boat to the Dunn’s River Falls and then climbed the falls. All 950 feet of them!  Crazy. We also got a DVD of it as well. It was crazy fun. L loved it!

When we got on the boat they were serving rum punches and rum and cokes….they were etremely strong.  Too strong for some people in fact! Definitely not too strong for a couple high school girls on the boat making a complete fool of themselves. One girl was probably 18 and two days old and man she was off the hook!  Running around the boat like a madman. Starting chants on the boat. Just pure foolishness!  She sparked a convo with me and L about whether we would let our daughter drink at 18.

We both said yah if they were with us and not with their friends. ….then we say the girl get outrageous and we quickly changed our minds. But no real decision could be made until we saw the kid and how responsible they were.

Then on the way back from the boat cruise me and L were talking to the couple behind us. One girl played field hockey in college and the guy played hockey…..for the Columbus Blue Jackets. Awesome…then he asked which of the Caps goalies we liked the best, and we all agreed Holtby is the future! Then he said that they used to have a joke in practice that Neuvy would never leave the crease to play the puck so they’d chip it in to try to get him to play it.  Really nice couple. Then as we were getting off, I ask his name. 

Kyle Wilson. As in longtime Hershey Bears and Caps prospect Kyle Wilson.  I am now a casual Columbus Blue Jackets fan!

No more Prozac for you mon!

10:00 am – Wednesday

Apparently Jamaicans call Rum, Prozac down here.  I was apparently way too into water volleyball yesterday and the Jamaican girl keeping score told me “No more Prozac for you Mon!” After some funny looks she finally eplained that Prozac is Rum.  Pretty hilarious!

Last night was cool. The resort had a little beach party type thing. Played some games and did some dancing. I watched from afar!  Until they asked where everyone was from. That’s when the loud kid (me) yelled out, “DC”.  It was fun I suppose.

We have also met about 5 couples from around the country. A couple of Wisconsoners (Oh yah!) And a couple from Philly/Boston. A couple from St. Louis and Kansis City and a couple from South Carolina.

Everyone has been really nice thus far and I am having a ton of fun. Me and Leigh have yet to have dinner alone yet so we may try to do that soon but I think we are going to have sushi one night soon with the Philly couple. They are really nice and similar to us.

This whole traveling thing is pretty cool!  I mean, I always thought that after getting married, Id want to have kids right away, but now I am kinda thinking that traveling could be fun!  We are on our way in about an hour to go see the Dunn’s River Falls. We are going to take a party boat which is pretty cool so we have heard. It is college spring break for some schools so I am sure there will be some serious debauchery on the boat. That kinda annoys and excites me all at the same time.

Well, I better try to eat something soon!  🙂

No problems, only situations

10:29am – Monday, April 18.

Here…in….Jamaica. 

I honestly can’t believe how beautiful it is here. We just walked the resort and it is amazing. Its a couples/adults only resort so there are no little kids running around which is wonderful. I was hoping there would be a stocked bar in the room, but there isn’t one. Sadface. Oh well, one of the 5 bars will have to suffice!

Tennis courts are cool and lessons are at 8 in the morning.  we got breakfast this morning which was really good!  We are now going down to the pool and possibly over to the ocean. There are already a few things I definitely want to do.  Jet sky, kayaking maybe, tennis, golf, relaxing.  All of them sound great.

For the most part, the people are great too.  Its funny though, the inflection in the Jamaicans voice is different than Americans. So it makes them sound kinda angry when they speak to you.  Or annoyed, but its just their dialect I suppose. They have joke a lot though which is cool.

Ok off to the pool! Will update later!

6:49 PM

Later is here!  We don’t have anything to do today so we are doing nothing. L is watching some show called Dharma & Greg? Whatever. I am feeling like the king of Zamunda right now!

I just took a bath for the first time in like 15 years! Maybe longer!  And it was in a whirlpool! I am a new man! Tonight we will probably do sometthing like…eat at a restaurant.  Then again, possibly not.

We forgot our camera and we r a little bitterr about that but we may go buy one.  Of course its like 20 bu for one at the thief shop…I mean gift shop. Sorry.

I’m off to read my book from the balcony of my hotel room…please ecuse me while I relax.

G

Interview with a crazy man: Myself

4 days left as a single man.

As the countdown has gone from nearly 300 days to now 4 *gulp* the world is spinning really fast!  Or at least my stomach thinks so. I am not nervous per se, but I am indeed… umm. READY TO GO! So I know a lot of people have questions for a nearly married man so I interviewed myself to get those answers out to the public. Enjoy

What’s it like being almost married?
It is actually a lot of the same crap that makes me so loveable. I mean, I woke up late today which is kind of different, but I still showered and skipped breakfast and nearly forgot my deodorant which is pretty normal for me. I had to go back in and get my deodorant on which is pretty important to being liked at work.

Are you scared at all?
I’m only scared of a few things. Thunderstorms especially, being left alone in a theme park, and …. well that’s all I can think of right now. I think getting married is like jumping out of an airplane.  Nobody is ever afraid of jumping out of the airplane, it’s the unsafe landing that stops us all from jumping. If you pack your parachute with care and take your time, there’s no reason to be afraid. I can spend my time enjoying the ride down.

How was wedding planning?
Different than I imagined. I thought I was gonna be doing all kinds of things. Picking out flowers and colors and …whatever else goes into planning a wedding. I quickly found out that I care far less about everything than L did. In fact I barely cared at all I’m sure she would say. I helped with a few things though…like…trying on the tux she picked out.

How was the bachelor party? Crazy like the movies?
I did not have one. Because knowing my friends and family, more marriages and relationships would have been destroyed over a little male bonding. I instead spent some time with my groomsmen and that meant more to me than a little T&A (mom don’t google T&A please)

What has been the biggest challenge over the last year?
Random costly bills. By me not being very involved, there were constantly random things to pay for that I had very little to know about. Partial payments that felt more like layaway robbery. I’ll be glad when they are over and I can predict when I’m going to get beat up and mugged at swipe point.

What’s the first thing you’ll do as a married man when you get back from your honeymoon?
Cry

What? Cry? That’s a little harsh isn’t it?
No no, not because I’m married but because I’ll have to go to back to work. My job is awesome but it’s not Jamaica! After crying, I will try to get used to calling L my wife.  This could take years, so I hope she’s patient.

Have your buddies been giving you a hard time?
Yes, apparently its funny to see your friends go through a marriage. Saying things like, “why?” and “are you crazy?” or “your life as you know it is now over. Foolish child!“.  Its depressing! So to all of my friends I ask, where were you when I was dating ugly, unintelligent short, unathletic girls? Nobody warned me then!  Some friends you were!

You sound a little bitter sir.
No not at all.  They are just projecting their hate onto me. Luckily I have a solid foundation called “ego”.  Its hard to break a man when his ego is bigger than life.

So on another topic not related to marriage, what’s the last dream you had?
I had a dream that a horse was falling off a cliff and I started laughed as it fell, then I was thinking, “wait was someone on that horse?” And I stopped laughing and became outraged and terrified. Then I looked over the cliff and was looking for the horse and I see the horse laying on one of those huge stunt balloon things that breaks the fall. Then I see a bunch of people clapping. And I’m like what the heck?   Then I was thinking the horse tried to commit suicide? How sad!

….the horse tried to commit suicide?
Yeah man, it was depressed or something? Well that’s what the bystanders were saying.

….why were you near a horse, and a cliff?
How am I supposed to know? I was asleep!  It was a dream! You asked the question, now you want me to analyze my own dream?  This is ridiculous.

…are you on drugs?
What?! NO! Next question please.

Do you think you will miss being single?
What kind of question is that?  Are you trying to get me killed? Of course I won’t miss it! In fact, I haven’t been single for years! I have a whole new set of challenges and adventures to look forward too…at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

What advice do you have for other men thinking about getting married?
Make sure you pack your own parachute, and spend a lot of time packing it.  Don’t jump out of that plane unless you know you’re going to land safely.

What advice do you have for women who are thinking about getting married?
Why?  You could have anything in this world and you want a man?  We are dirty, smelly, lazy, not funny, vulgar, ridiculous and highly hypocritical. Just get a golden retriever and enjoy your life.

What do you think L’s first request as a wife will be?
“Can we go on a dinner date?”

What will your response be?
“Do we have to? I kinda wanna just relax for the rest of our lives and watch football, hockey, and college basketball”

What will be your first request be as a husband?
“Can you scoot over please, you’re touching me again.”

Are you ready to get married?
Yes. Next question

Why do you seem so angry?
I’m not! Next question please.

Do you have a problem with me?
Yes I do! You think you are such a great interviewer when in fact, you’re medicre at best!  Get over yourself!

I mean, honestly, right back at you kid!  You’re not the greatest interviewee either!  Get over YOURself!

::end of interview::