Navigating the mind of a woman…one tangent at a time

September 18, 2012

So you know what a tangent is right? In case you don’t, it’s a line that touches a circle or curve at one point, making it relevant to the circle or curve (non-mathematical explanation).  Otherwise it wouldn’t be relavant at all. It would just be a line next to a circle.  Well when people go off “on a tangentusually at some point it touches on the point that was originally in focus.  It may go off into lala land thereafter, but at some point, everyone can say “I see where that was relevant

Not with L.

With L, she has her own definition of a conversational tangent.  Case and point.

A few days ago when we were in the car and I was talking about how in college, I downloaded a song which I thought was an R. Kelly song called Chocolate Factory.  Instead I got the Veggie Tales version and when it came on, my friends would make fun of me.  I laughed, she laughed and immediately said the following…(please try to follow).

One time in college, me and my roommates were drinking (for story’s sake, she was of age, they weren’t) in the room and this RA had a crush on me, and he said he was coming down so we had to hide the bottles.  So, we stupidly hid them in paper bags in the middle of the floor!  Then when he came in, one of us bumped the bags and the bottle fell over.  So I said to the RA, “You didn’t hear anything, everything is just fine“.  And he kinda looked at me and said, “You girls be safe!” and I said, “We are!  We are just going down to Lucky’s and then coming right back home

End of story

This is about the point where I nearly explode because I realized halfway through that this story was headed off the highest cliff in conversation history!  I also could tell that she knew that as well.  She refused to look at me, and just waited for me to burst into laughter (which I did)

So remember I talked about how the tangent touches the original story at one point….I HAD to know where her story was related.  Her answer:

“You said in college, and then that reminded me of something that happened in college”

HAHA!  WHAT!?  That is great!  The mind of a woman is a laser maze of tangents.  I’m just Catherine Zeta-Jones, trying to navigate my way through safely.


Help settle our argument!

February 2, 2012

This past weekend, we went for a walk (like an old married couple).  While on our walk we got into a hilarious but heated argument!  We both were adament about the other being wrong.  We didn’t really care about being right…I just know she’s wrong!  And, she knows I’m wrong.  See where this is going!? So as we break into full out laughter walking down the street, we decide to let my 7,000 readers be the judge of who is right and who is wrong!

FIrst off, let me explain the argument.  I have this thing where I like to walk on the side of L that is closest to the danger zone! In this case, the street is the danger zone as we walk down the sidewalk.  On the other side of L is some harmless woods and a field in this particular case.  Nothing dangerous except for a dead carcass or two. And maybe a fox or a bear.  I don’t know.  I try not think about those things.

Anyways, we are walking and she says, “I like how you like to walk on the inside/outside of me”  and I say, “Wait, i’m not on the inside/outside, I’m on the outside/inside.”  I can’t exactly say which word I used and which one she used because that would be unfair in judging the winner.

BTW, I just randomly selected one to go first and then switched them for the other person.  Don’t get too technical about my typing out the scenario, Inspector Gadget

This boggles my mind! So,  I decided to diagram the situation!

As you can now clearly see,  I am on the _______, where she is on the _______.  What do you think?!  Be sure to send this to your friends! The more votes the better!! Also, feel free to comment to explain yourself.

 


Christmas Cheer and Broken electronics

December 30, 2011

Well, I hooked my computer up to my brand new 32″ LCD TV….then I got a virus.  And I spent three days fixing my own computer when I do that all day at work. Bad news is that I lost everything on my hard drive, good news is that my pictures are on my SD card and I didn’t really have anything worth keeping on my hard drive because I work with computers all day and I know how unreliable they are.  I’m sure I will be looking for some data in a few weeks and realize that it was on my laptop though.

After I fixed my computer, my new 32″ LDC TV started flickering and cutting off and on sporadically.  So I called Toshiba and they are sending someone out to replace the mainboard.  I gotta say Toshiba support is SO GOOD!  It’s obvious that they outsource it to another country oversees , but they don’t mess around.  The person you talk to initially, is the person you hang up with.  None of this American, “let me transfer you to someone who can’t help you” phone tag garbage!  VERIZON!

So, with that being said, I always say I am going to get back into writing and posting and then….a million and one things come up and I don’t get around to actually doing it.  I am good at this.  Some call it scatterbrained, others call it ADD, I call it my life! But I really want to get back into writing and posting again.  It’s my circle of sanity 🙂

In the past month I feel like we have bought out the the entire state of Virginia trying to furnish our house home and it still isn’t completely furnished!  Ugh!  This is what being an adult homeowner is all about huh?

I have really really been into remodeling blogs lately and I know that seems pretty girly probably, but I don’t care!  I have extremely manly sides to balance everything out! For example, for Christmas my awesome in-(Santa C)laws bought me THIS!

A reciprocating saw which I promptly used to cute shelves for L! It’s so AWESOME!

I also got THIS from my genius wife/Santa Clausette!

I haven’t used this yet, but I have a few projects in mind. I will explain them in a later post though.  L thinks I am completely crazy but…she supports me so I have love her for that alone!!  For now,  This is all you get!

I am working on a new years resolution post that I will probably put out on New Years Day!


So this is life huh?

November 27, 2011

Whoa!

I was thinking recently about the past year and how eventful it has been.  I got married, bought a house, and recently just bought a car!

Many of you know that I have been taking the metro for the past year and some months in order to allow L to drive the car. We thought about buying a car a while ago, but the parking situation in Arlington is expensive to say the least!  It wasn’t a great decision financially to buy another car so we didn’t.  We sacrificed buy sticking to one car only.

Now that we have an address with some parking spaces assigned to us, we thought it was a great time to buy another car! So we did!  We bought a Black 2011 Nissan Rogue.

As L said, “She’s sexy!”  I think she’s just kinda cool.  Like the kind of girl that is quiet but then you have a conversation with her and she explains Darwins method for naming new animals in a 15 minute wide eyed rant where you know her heart is beating at like 120 bpm from pure excitement…yeah.  L decided to name this nerdy car Sasha.

I preferred Palin (Get it?) but she was not so fond of that name.

So L sealed the deal on the car on Friday while I was at work.  We had a unique method of negotiating.  See I don’t like salespeople at all.  I don’t do well with them.  In fact, if I don’t have to talk to them ever, I would highly prefer that.  So L sat there and talked to the guy and texted me his offers and I would make counters through her and she would present them as only she could.  Probably in a high pitched voice a stone face.  Gotta love teachers!

We ended up getting a good amount under the offer price AND I got my car back! 🙂

Now I have to figure out what to do with the 90 dollars that are still on my smart card.  I wonder if I can sell them on craigslist? I’d even deliver it to the buyer now that I have my car back!!

All smiles!


2 months

November 9, 2011

That’s over 60 days since I last posted.  Man that is a long time. Let’s give a quick recap of what has and hasn’t happened since we last had a conversation.

– I have not purchased a new car
– I have nearly burned my apartment down cooking fried chicken (L still thought it was delicious though)
– My mother’s everlasting reverberating wisdom saved my life again
– My capitals have been winning
– I have attended two beautiful weddings of friends of ours
– I have pretty much stopped working out altogether (which doesn’t make me happy)
– I have survived a full year at my current position with my job (there were days for sure that I thought I was going to punch someone in the face or pass out from stress and frustration levels)
– We have stuck to being purely window shoppers in the attempt to save money
– We have taken a sushi rolling class (this was an exception to the last point)
– We have not made sushi since taking the class
– I have been reading and writing poetry more

That is just a few of the things that have happened (or not happened) since my last post.

I have quite a few post in buy head that I would like to write in the coming weeks and months and I hope that my old followers and readers will join all you new ones in rediscovering just how amazing of a person I am at times. (my wife would like you to know that she does not fully endorse the last statement).

The first post of a new era will air tomorrow at about 6 pm!


Live A Little

July 18, 2011

We spend too much time in this country doing things that we “need” and “gotta” do.  Enough of that!  I am sick of these things.  The more we do, the more people ask us to do and therefore, the more we feel that we “need” and “gotta” do.  What ever happened to “want“s and “can’t wait tos.  I don’t know either, but I’m bringing them back.

 

I was with my nephew yesterday for a little bit and he wanted to turn off the sound for the women’s soccer game so that he could listen to cartoons on the smaller TV.  It was funny to us because he asked us simply because it’s what he wanted.  He legitimately feels that he should get to do everything that he wants to do.  And to be honest…I had a very hard time telling him no!

Obviously this doesn’t work in real life, but still, who am I to tell him that he can’t just do what he wants to do.  I mean eventually I’ll be telling him as well as my own kids that they should “do what makes you happy“.  We have to find a happy balance between getting to do what we want and having to do what the must in order to survive and have positive relationships in this world.

We live in this huge contradictory world of wants and needs.  Sometimes, we think our wants and needs are our own, when they’re really someone elses.  Like someone pulled an inception (Great movie btw) on us and planted their own personal agenda into our heads.  Somewhere along the line of following our dreams, we get twisted and turned and redirected towards “need to do“s and “gottas do“s.

I’m reminded of a scene from one of my favorite movies called Chocolat.  The grandmother is talking to her grandson who isn’t supposed to be talking to her according to his mother.  He also is not supposed to have chocolate, so when his grandmother asks if he would like some cake he responds, “I’m not supposed to.”  She then says the two most important lines in that movie.

Don’t worry so much about ‘not supposed to’.  Live a little.”

I think we all need to just live a little.

 


Home Alone

July 17, 2011

L is away this whole weekend and will be again next weekend.  I can honestly say that I don’t know anything about how to live on my own anymore.  I mean, I did it for 2 years before we met and while I was at college, I did it then as well.  But I have been spoiled with this whole marriage thing for….months now.  I don’t know exactly what I should do with myself and my grumbling tummy.

I mean,  don’t know exactly how to eat without L telling me.  I just got a text that says “Go get something to eat.”  DONE

Now….where should I go…..

Oh yeah, I’m back and I’m blogging again.  It’s going to be cool and edgy, like a knife in a freezer baby!  Notice the changes in the layout.