Worst feeling ever

December 29, 2010

I figured out the worst feeling in the world.  Having L ask me, “Did you do *Blank* like I asked you to?

Now, my mom can attest to the fact that the answer will ALWAYS be no. Actually, I think any woman in a serious relationship can say that their husbands or boyfriends will say no.  Why is that?

It’s pretty much a lock that if you ask me to do something, that isn’t even on my radar, and then you leave and expect me to remind myself to do this task that means nothing to me….I will forget immediately. It’s not on purpose!  I promise.  I really don’t want to forget what L asks me to do, but in order for me to do that, I have to internally put that random request on a mental pedestal.  No guy has a step ladder high enough to reach that pedestal unfortunately.

I hope maybe this is temporary or something and I would actually start to remember stuff, but this is certainly not the case.  I can just hear the future now.

Did you do *blank* like I asked you to?
Ah!  Sorry hun, I forgot.
Well, you have to start remembering the things that I ask you to do
How?
Put it in the same place you put football stats, and movie quotes
What?  I don’t know how to do that
Figure it out!  this is getting ridiculous!

and the argument will carry on like this until the end of time.  I will never be right.

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New job, old G

October 28, 2010

A couple weeks ago I applied for and received a job promotion. I have been at my job for about three years and have moved up pretty quickly considering I have a degree in a completely different field. 

I think my attitude is a huge reason why I am in the spot that I am in and why I have been given the opportunities that I have been given.  Managers always look for different things in an individual candidate.  I have never hired anyone so I am really just talking out of my behind, but still.  You should listen to me!

My new position starts on Monday and I am pretty nervous. I think that i have a lot to live up to.  I think that I know what I want to do in my future and this is a great step to get there.  I also know that this position is a great chance for me to fail and for me to fall short.  I don’t want to fall short of course.  I want to shine!

One thing I have realized in my past though is that there will be days when you fall short.  How am I going to handle those days? I don’t know.  To say that I am nervous and slightly overwhelmed is an understatement.  The main reason I am writing this post is really for self motivation! People are all motivated by different things. My motivation is the will to not fail in any task.  Most people want to be great and that is their motivation and if they don’t see themselves in a “great” position, they consider themselves failures.  I think that is a perfect storm for frustration and dissappointment.

I have always been motivated by my fear of not meeting expectations. With this thinking, I end up aiming higher than just meeting expctations, but in the end if I fall short of where I aim, I still end up in a good position. I just never want to fail.

Basically…I made it sound like i aim to be mediocre which isn’t the case at all.  But I am babbling so my original thoughts and messages are floating off like a toddlers balloon at six flags. 

Basically…new position monday, scary times. By I am ready for it.  And I will not fail! Goodnight.