Marriage is an experiment, we are the scientists

November 18, 2010

Me and my brother were talking  the other day and he simply said, “Love and marriage is a never ending experiment and we are the scientists“.

That may not mean too much to you guys, but to mean that sums it up perfectly!  I mean, we really don’t know what will come of anything we do in any relationship.  That’s part of the excitement though.  Scientists don’t become scientists unless they love the excitement of unveiling the unexpected.  I mean, there are some things that have already been tested by other fools scientists, like cheating and infidelity.  I know what will happen.  I will lose half  of everything I ever earned, and everything I ever wanted (L).  I dare not test that theory.

I don’t know however, what would happen if I came home with a puppy for instance.  Would L think “OMG, he loves me enough to buy me a puppy and the puppy will become part of our family and we will love him forever and ever.”  That is very possible, but not very probable…YET!  She grew up with puppys so I don’t know. She very well could…….I’m suddenly realizing how terribly awful this example is.

The real point is this.  We will face adversity in nearly every part of our lives.  We aren’t going to know the answers.  We aren’t going to know reasons why.  But we know, we are committed to this thing called love and this lifelong experiment of marriage.  We are going to find ways to make it work, because that’s our goal and our passion.

With me and L’s situation, we both love to shop!  Well…she loves to shop as is evident by her looking at online shopping websites….EVERY DAY(just kiddin’ babe, I know you rest on Sundays).  But, we don’t really make a lot of money.  I mean we make enough to live in swanky super cool Ballston, but not enough to live in Ballston AND online shop daily.  I know what we have to do, I know that more money needs to be made because we have plans, and dreams, and things that we want to do!  Personally, I want 42 kids.  I don’t know how much 42 kids will cost us, but I know I was probably pretty dang expensive (right mom?).

So, I need to get things brewing in my mental lab and figure out how exactly I’m going to make money so L and I can buy a home in The Hamptons with 44 rooms (one for us, and another one for my man cave)!  Let me know if you guys have any ideas.

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Why should I get married: Complaint calls to Verizon

September 23, 2010

Verizon didn’t have a chance!  Our internet has been out for 5 days (againwhich is why I haven’t been colorizing and what not to the recent posts).   So I get ready to call them to schedule an appointment to have them fix it on Sunday. They made it  clear that someone has to come out to fix it…fair enough.  Just please don’t offer me times that most of America works:

Sir, we can have someone come out tomorrow (Monday) between he hours of 9am and 9pm
You’re kidding  right?
Well we have Tuesday and Wednesday between 8am and 12pm
Look, I work, and I don’t have a car.
We can send you a text when they are on their way.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t clear.  I work in another state, and I take the metro. That wont work.
Sorry sir, that’s the only times we can come out.
So what are my options?
I don’t know sir.
Me neither, connect me to cancellations. I’m done win you guys.
She then puts me through and the wait time is 30 minutes to cancel service.  I am not wasting another 60 minutes of my cell hours on Verizon! Done! I hang up.

Enter L two days later(Tuesday) on the phone with Verizon customer support.

Hello? Yes, I need to talk to someone higher up.  You can’t help me.”  This is pretty much how she started the conversation (lol).  “Yes ma’am, we haven’t had internet for 3 days and we have called and I am not going to go through your troubleshooting spiel again.  I know what you are going to say like the back of my hand and its not going to work so I need to talk to someone higher because you can’t help me.  No offense to you, I just am not going to go through this again.

This is when I fire up XBox realizing my job is done.  This is like a running back carrying the ball 70 yards down the field on 10 carries and then the coach calling in reliable fullback to plow it into the endzone!  Touchdown!  ….actually it’s more like, the starting quarterback getting sacked, breaking his tailbone, getting carted off the field to a crowd full of boos, and the rookie QB taking over and upsetting the number 1 team in the country (I’m the one with the broken tailbone btw).

We now have an official call and complainer for the family.  I don’t have to worry about anything anymore. She was very polite though. She called the lady ma’am and everything!

Then she got a hold of a guy named Ken who she immediately verifies that he was the correct person to be talking to. “Are you the highest up hat I can to about this situation?

Now I don’t know if you guys can understand the transformation that happened on the phone. She used grown up words, spoke clearly, and she made sense!  When she talks to me, I don’t know, maybe she gets nervous but she makes words up that sound smart, by aren’t really words.  Or she will misuse a word in the wrong context or definition.  But not with Verizon.

She used words like consistently unreliable. And unaccptable service and baffling and ridiculously outrageous maybe even threw an inconceivably incompetent in there…then again, maybe I’m misremembering (this is a word she probably made up and now I have been trained to believe it is a real word).

The main point is that she did a great job with the task that I obviously failed at. I hereby hand over all complaint call duties to my future wife.  *cheers*


If Bob Vila and Martha Stewart had a kid…

August 15, 2010

She does it all!  I don’t have to do anything around here.  She cooks and cleans. She hangs pictures and moves furniture (albeit, not very gracefully).

Then I came home the other day and she had put up another clothes rack in the closet!  All by herself.  Granted she messed up the measurements (by a whole foot), and hammered about 10 nails into the wall before she got the picture in the correct spot over the couch.  She still did it all by herself.

Pretty soon, I’m not going to have anything to do around here!  I’m just going to have to sit back and watch her build Rome.  I come home from work and dinner is ready to go!  Beautiful!  I feel so cool and loved.  I could get used to this.

It’s just too bad that summer is almost over and I’m sure this will all change pretty quickly.  I better enjoy it while I can 🙂


I received my first executive orders

July 29, 2010

I had a hilarious post written up and L saw it (even though she said she wouldn’t look 🙂) and demanded sulked in the corner to make sure that I take it down.  Actually, she just was really embarrassed, so I decided to put on my nice boyfriend hat for a change as I always do, and delete the post 🙂

Instead, I have an update about our lives.  It’s official….we are a family. Well, at least according to Verizon.

We went to Verizon on Sunday and melted our accounts into one happy family plan.  Not as cool as it sounds, especially since the sales guy (who spoke softer than baby poo) was like, “You’ll save about 10 dollars

That’s it!?! I guess it’s because we both have Droid phones, but stillOnly 10 dollars!  Our bill is still going to be like hundreds of bucks a month!  Well…maybe just one hundred and some change.

Oh and on top of that, one of us I only gets 50$ towards a new phone upgrade vs. the normal $100!  Not fun!

Family plan is a jip…or maybe it’s the fact that becoming a family isn’t all its cracked up to be.

(standby. After that last statement, I might get another executive order to take this down as well)


Quitting is not an option!

July 19, 2010

First, let’s make this about me.  So, before I was the aspiring blog writer and unemployed fiance (i’m fully booked in this department now), I was a certified conditioning specialist (a more hardcore personal trainer).  Yes I passed a pretty exhaustive online test to become one too!

When I used to train individuals, I trained everyone.  Old ladies, 10 year old kids.  I trained Division I athletes, pro athletes, high school all-americans.  Lawyers, doctors, stay at home moms, tv personalities, radio personalities, moms, dads, brothers, sisters.  Everyone!  I even trained three siblings, seperately because they couldn’t stand each other that much that their parents would rather pay me three times the amount, rather than have them bicker for an hour (I didn’t mind, and neither did my bank account!)

But even with all of the perks and excitement and enjoyment , I stopped doing it for a  few reasons, but one in particular.  I was sick of watching people quit on themselves. For people who say, “it’s your job to motivate them“, no.  My degree, and my certification had no questions about boosting motivation!

Now, I am no all-Met athlete, or push-up champion, or marathon athlete.  But I’m also not a quitter.  I hate quitting.  That is one thing that my father taught me that I’ll never forget.  He never let me quit anything.  He never let me quit a team, a game, a practice, a drill, a play.  He never let me quit.  One phrase that he taught me and I now live by is:

“If quitting is never an option, you have no choice but to succeed

There was one time when I worked out with my friend who is on a US Olympic team, and she beat me in every drill.  It was probably 95 degrees outside, 100% humidity of course, on field turf (add 10 degrees), at high noon, and I was probably hungover.  I never felt more like crying, dying, puking, and quitting in my life.  But I didn’t.  She laughed at me, and I drank all the water in College Park that afternoon. Oh yeah, and that was only the 2nd hardest workout I’ve ever gone through.

Well, I grew up always having one rule.  Never quit.  The reward of success, will always outweigh the comfort of quitting.

On to why this is relevant to anything.  Yesterday, me and L worked out.  We played tennis (she whooped me like I was one of Bebe’s kids ).  After tennis we ran ten 100 yard sprints (maybe more like 120 yards).  We rested in between each one for about 3o seconds.  After 4 sprints, she said “I’m gonna throw up“.  Now, I know she’s not going to throw up.  I’ve (mostly unintentionally) made dozens of people throw up, and I have developed a good sensor of when people are going to throw up from working out.

We carry on with the work out.  She starts to hate me more and more with every sprint.  I keep my distance, but I am smiling behind her as she sprints away!    We get to 7 sprints and she is in complete agony and doesn’t want me even looking in her direction.  We (finally) get to 10 sprints and I know she is as close to punching me in the face as she ever has been, I am sure.

I look at her and the only thing I can think is “This is definitely the one for me”.  Its so indicative of our personalities and our relationships.  We both hate failing.  We hate looking like failures.  We hate being perceived as failures.  And we hate being failures.  With everything we have within us both, we will always push each other to succeed.

With G and L, quitting is never an option!


Help me plan my honeymoon!

July 6, 2010

Alright, I believe it’s time to start thinking about this most important part of the wedding.  Technically it’s not part of the wedding, but it is really.

I have been looking at some places to go for our honeymoon, but I am having some trouble.  So, when in trouble, call on your friends right?!

So I know you guys have TONS of places in mind as to where we can go.  PLEASE give me some ideas.  I have made a list of things that we are looking for and we would like to do.  Any ideas are welcome! Just comment below!

Honeymoon listypoo!

  • Out of the US!
  • Near some water! (Lakes, rivers, oceans)
  • Safe (Mom requested this one)
  • Must be activities to do!  (Ziplining, kayaking, sailing, fishing, jetskiing, hiking, biking, etc.)
  • No longer than an 8 hour flight
  • No Hawaii
  • Semi-secluded (not necessary, but more romantic)
  • All-inclusive packages are a plus!

Please, help out in any way that you can!  Even if it’s you just telling us where NOT to go!


Another reason to get married: Healthy eating

July 4, 2010

L went home for two days and came back the apartment to find a few surprises on the coffee table. There’s something about having a GF or wife that makes you eat a little healthier.  I think women in general eat healthier than men do. It became evident while she was gone, that I was eating pretty well around and I was saving money doing so too!

While L was out, here’s what I ate:

  • Gummy bears (two bags)
  • 25 buffalo wings (gave me diarrhea)
  • Bought breakfast and lunch from Dr. Kims (my work cafe)
  • Sushi (I didn’t really eat it, but I mentally bought it)
  • About 4 energy drinks

When L is here, I eat so well and deliciously!  Salad!  Cereal for breakfast!  mm!!  Fish (omega-3s baby!). Sushi, veggies.  Lots and lots of veggies.  Which is key.  We don’t eat fast food together.  It’s delicious, but it’s unhealthy.  I don’t really know what I’m saying, but I’m definitely keeping this girl around because she keeps my fit and she keeps me healthy.  You should try it for yourself one day!