I don’t know what’s best for me. Lets be honest, most guys don’t know what’s best for us. That’s why the phrase “mother knows best” was born. I think that can also go for future mothers, or not mothers yet…or just women in general.
Now lets not get out of control with things. Women sometimes overanalyze to the point where they are stuck in indecision or trying to do everything to please everyone (L!). But when it comes to women and the people they love, suddenly they have this unbelivable clarity.
For example, my sister lil G makes all of her decisions with her son (and my brother/her hubby) in mind. To her, its really that simple. With L, I realized that she feels the same with me. Not to say she thinks of me as her son, but I am a big part of her life right now and it shows. But I also realize it goes both ways!
Sometimes I feel like I am just doing what I am supposed to do and not necessarily what I am thinking is best to be doing. Then I realize, that’s love taking over. Love drives me to do things I used to not even consider. Now, they are a part of my life and my path to happiness.
One (really stupid) example – my (beloved) car. I don’t think anyone realizes how big this is for me. I got my first car when I was 15…before I even had my driver’s license I think. I washed it 3 times before I could even drive it. I drove it everywhere, I was the taxi for my friends before and after school. I didn’t even want to go to college once I found out I couldn’t have my car on campus (serious). I moved to an apartment after college that was on the metro and so was my job. I still drove to work everyday (except when my car had a championship MMA fight with a fire hydrant. My car lost tremendously). Then I met L who totaled her car in an accident a year after we met.
I remember thinking I was going to lose her that day when I got that phone call. I have never been so scared. When we moved into together, she needed a car. I gave up my beloved car for her without a quesion. I made sure she was taken care of and could get to work everyday. My workdays got extended from about 5:15am to about 6pm by taking the train versus driving but I never cared. She is worth it.
Yesterday (actually last week now, sorry I take so long to post these things), police arrested a guy in relation to a plot to blow up four metro stops. Most of them in the city where we live and one which I pass through everyday going to and from work. To be honest, I briefly thought about my safety. But then I started thinking about my life insurance. Then I thought that I would be fine. My mind suddenly shifted to the girl running on the treadmill behind me. My future is in her hands…therefore, I will be ok 🙂
Until a few nights ago, I thought that it was a conscious decision that I made to give up the car and take the metro. Now I realize it wasn’t at all.
Love made that decision. Love makes a lot of decisions for us. If we try to fight them, we end up fighting love. If we question them we question love. Sometimes I forget that not everything makes complete sense. Some things just happen because they were meant to happen.
Sometimes, love just happens.