I’m not Grocer, that’s for sure!

Grocery shopping  is definitely not a very fun thing to do.  It’s about as fun as repeatedly punching myself in the throat.  Well apparently Giant has this new thing there where you can swipe this little guy (See pic below)  as you go and then just pay at the end.  It’s great!  The price is NEVER right though.  But still pretty cool.

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L loves it even though she never really gets to use it.  She usually holds the list and hunts for the stuff in a logical manner while I swipe it, bag it, and suggest a cheaper option (which is usually followed by a death stare).  We are out of there in 45 minutes tops and I get to sit back in front of my beautiful HDTV and watch beautiful sports.

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Well! These past two weeks, L has had to work so I have had to go grocery shopping on my own….(disastrous!)

The first time I went, I had this masterpiece of a grocery list to work with.  (enjoy).  I still don’t understand the different size fonts for different items.  Maybe she REALLY wanted olive oil, but just kinda wanted bread.

Scratch!

Scribble

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Everything was all good until I got to the last section above.  Firstly, I’d like to point out my three additions to the list.  Frozen meals, apples & bananas, and fruit on sale.  Always thinking healthy and cheap!  Then towards the bottom we have three items items that threw me for a loop.

  • Moz  ^ stewed
  • can tomatoes 2 cans
  • com 1 can

OK.   after a few trips around the grocery store I realized that the moz what mozzerella cheese!  (Pat on the back).  I kept seeing moz stewed for some reason…possibly because they were on the same line, and I was taught to read from left to right.  Not left to down to back up to right.  Then I see “can tomatoes 2 cans“.  I figure she wants two cans of tomatoes and then I see the word stewed on one of the cans!  And that line comes to life!  2 cans of stewed canned tomatoes!  GOT IT!   (Pat on the back).  Then the last line………………. “COM 1 CAN“.

So there I am, standing in the canned food aisle.  I know I need a can of something in this aisle so I’m not going anywhere.  I look up.  I’m thinking out loud, debating asking someone what in the heck “com” is.  I decide I am a man and I will figure this out.  what in the heck is COM, I think.  Just then, it nearly jumps off the shelf at me!

CREAM OF MUSHROOM!!!!

I yank it off the shelf with a smile and stroll on over to check out.  I get home, unpack and begin telling L about my 2 hour (yes 2 hour) adventure.

G: Babe, I was having the worst time.  I think I got everything.  I couldn’t find a few things though.
L: Oh boy, like what?
G: I couldn’t find Chili Beans.  Craisins, I swear they don’t have them anymore.  and Shallots?  I don’t even know what those are!
L: The’re like little onions
G: Oh….Well they didn’t have it
L: Yeah they do.  They’re over near the big onions
G: Oh.  Well…. I did figure out something on the list.  I walked around for an hour looking for this COM on the list.  Then I realized, it was Cream of Mushroom!!!  haha!

She looks at me confused then says in the straightest face of all time.

L: You mean corn?!

G: ………………………

Shopping

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5 Responses to I’m not Grocer, that’s for sure!

  1. JanisC says:

    I def saw CORN the first time looking at the list. LOL. You’re the only dude I know who overcomplicates things.

  2. Mr Yes says:

    I don’t understand how everyone saw CORN but me?!?! maybe because I deal with acronyms….ALL DAY! Then again….so do you.

  3. Mindy says:

    My darling can relate. He usually comes home with bread, frozen pizza & yogurt.

  4. T says:

    This post really made me laugh. I love that it was such an adventure for you.

  5. Mr Yes says:

    I have a feeling that I will be eating a lot of sandwiches and frozen meals in the future. Now that I think about it….the only thing I am SURE of the brand and type that L likes is her yogurt.

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