For L’s birthday I bought her a shopping spree in NYC (the gift was free, but the result of the gift was not!). If you follow the blog at all, you know she is a huge fan of shopping! Huge! She is also a huge fan of NYC. Her grandparents are from the city, and her mom went to school in Harlem….well outside of Harlem (BTW did you all hear about the massive drug bust at Columbia? Crazy! Maybe they should change the school to Colombia…get it? L ill explain it later) With all of that said, me and L are as suburban as they come! We live in a high rise surrounded by grassy areas for dogs to poop in. NYC has one huge park. (Well they have others but I saw one and trust me, I’d rather make my dog poop in the middle of Broadway than in that park!)
We started in Jersey where we promptly saw a group of 8 HS girls all wearing jeans tucked into their UGG boots. I look at L and she is wearing (yup you guessed it) jeans tucked into her ugg boots. So I ask the concierge how we get to the metro (thats what us DC kids call it), the know said the shuttle would take three of us for 10 bux, otherwise a cab company would take us…for cheaper. I still don’t know why it matters how many people because he gets paid 10 biux regardless but…whatever. then L asked ” how far awy is it?”
“About a mile”
“On we can just walk” L exclaimed. WHAT??walk? Who?? I mean I got into an argument with a jersey kid once and he just confused my by calling me a bunch of names I’ve never heard before. I don’t want to go through that again. I had a migraine for two weeks after that.
Here is my thinking at this point. New jersey…home of DMX, every boxer not from philly, Brooklyn, or Detroit, the Sopranos, everyone in boardwalk empire (good show), and the worst band ever…Bon Jovi (spend a couple years at Bentleys at UMD and you’ll agree). 1 mile to this guy driving could really be like 2 miles walking, and a death sentence for two tourists with shopping bags and no pistol on me. I am sure this fool never walked from here to the metro!
Of course, the next morning as we were cabbin’ to the metro, it was definitely 2 (not 1) miles of graffitti filled, memorial laden overpass and used car lot littered road. And it was snowdrizzling (flurrying?), windy and stupid cold. I would have been one bitter buddy had I let her convince me into walking!
Then we spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what train goes to NY. Why have 5 different tracks downstirs and 8 more upstairs? Then have the amtrak, nj light rail and bus system, AND the long island railroad or something all go through the same station? Confusing!! Also, why not color code the trains? Why is it 5 dollars to go two stops? It takes me 5 dollars to go through DC and into Maryland.
On a positive note though, NYC, you rock for having ticket guys on the train looking like train conductors of the 40s. I felt like Don Draper for a second! I expected everyone to be smoking lucky strikes and reading the wall street journal. Instead i got a bunch of people speaking ten different languages and checking out my hot fiancee(I didn’t mind the first part too much, but the second…eyes to yourself mister!) I thought DC was an international town. Its got nothin on NYC (My buddy Phil was right btw, toll operators near the city are extra surly). Also, the first part of the trip lost its excitement when I got off the train and realized we stated in Jersey to be cheap yet onvenient…but we were easily an hour from our hotel room. Not so convenient at all…just cheap.
Then we stepped out of the station and right underneath Madison Square Garden! I’m in Newwwww Yoooorrrrrrrkkkk (in my best Alicia Keys voice)…