Why should I get married: Complaint calls to Verizon

Verizon didn’t have a chance!  Our internet has been out for 5 days (againwhich is why I haven’t been colorizing and what not to the recent posts).   So I get ready to call them to schedule an appointment to have them fix it on Sunday. They made it  clear that someone has to come out to fix it…fair enough.  Just please don’t offer me times that most of America works:

Sir, we can have someone come out tomorrow (Monday) between he hours of 9am and 9pm
You’re kidding  right?
Well we have Tuesday and Wednesday between 8am and 12pm
Look, I work, and I don’t have a car.
We can send you a text when they are on their way.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t clear.  I work in another state, and I take the metro. That wont work.
Sorry sir, that’s the only times we can come out.
So what are my options?
I don’t know sir.
Me neither, connect me to cancellations. I’m done win you guys.
She then puts me through and the wait time is 30 minutes to cancel service.  I am not wasting another 60 minutes of my cell hours on Verizon! Done! I hang up.

Enter L two days later(Tuesday) on the phone with Verizon customer support.

Hello? Yes, I need to talk to someone higher up.  You can’t help me.”  This is pretty much how she started the conversation (lol).  “Yes ma’am, we haven’t had internet for 3 days and we have called and I am not going to go through your troubleshooting spiel again.  I know what you are going to say like the back of my hand and its not going to work so I need to talk to someone higher because you can’t help me.  No offense to you, I just am not going to go through this again.

This is when I fire up XBox realizing my job is done.  This is like a running back carrying the ball 70 yards down the field on 10 carries and then the coach calling in reliable fullback to plow it into the endzone!  Touchdown!  ….actually it’s more like, the starting quarterback getting sacked, breaking his tailbone, getting carted off the field to a crowd full of boos, and the rookie QB taking over and upsetting the number 1 team in the country (I’m the one with the broken tailbone btw).

We now have an official call and complainer for the family.  I don’t have to worry about anything anymore. She was very polite though. She called the lady ma’am and everything!

Then she got a hold of a guy named Ken who she immediately verifies that he was the correct person to be talking to. “Are you the highest up hat I can to about this situation?

Now I don’t know if you guys can understand the transformation that happened on the phone. She used grown up words, spoke clearly, and she made sense!  When she talks to me, I don’t know, maybe she gets nervous but she makes words up that sound smart, by aren’t really words.  Or she will misuse a word in the wrong context or definition.  But not with Verizon.

She used words like consistently unreliable. And unaccptable service and baffling and ridiculously outrageous maybe even threw an inconceivably incompetent in there…then again, maybe I’m misremembering (this is a word she probably made up and now I have been trained to believe it is a real word).

The main point is that she did a great job with the task that I obviously failed at. I hereby hand over all complaint call duties to my future wife.  *cheers*


2 Responses to Why should I get married: Complaint calls to Verizon

  1. SDad says:

    Now you understand why I’m such a fanabulous, proud fa…friend of her.

  2. […] After I fixed my computer, my new 32″ LDC TV started flickering and cutting off and on sporadically.  So I called Toshiba and they are sending someone out to replace the mainboard.  I gotta say Toshiba support is SO GOOD!  It’s obvious that they outsource it to another country oversees , but they don’t mess around.  The person you talk to initially, is the person you hang up with.  None of this American, “let me transfer you to someone who can’t help you” phone tag garbage!  VERIZON! […]

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