Why do guys lie

There comes a time in every conversation wig a woman where we have to make a decision on whether to lie or tell the truth.  This moment happens whether we want it to or not.  It just does!

Now, many of us good wholesome guys tell the truth.  Some brave naive foolish men lie.  That lie is followed by immediate regret because 1) men are terrible liars and 2) woman are walking skeptics and are the basset hounds of lies.

The first thing a woman will ask when they catch a guy in a lie is “why did you just lie?

Now everything in us rushes to our brain and we reminded of when we were kids and our mothers asked us the same question.  Unfortunately, we didn’t have a good answer then, but it’s the best option…so we blurt it out…

I don’t know!

Well, we do know, and I am here to tell you why men lie:

  • We are afraid of you! – Not physically, but emotionally afraid.  Afraid of you yelling at us and then us saying things we would REALLY regret (No, that doesn’t mean that we really mean them if we say them in the heat of the moment.  It just means that we were cornered.  No I’m not comparing you to a rabid dog, that’s not what I meant.  I know that’s what it sounded like but….  Well yeah, I know it’s our own fault but, we can’t help it.  True, we are adults and not children but…..SEE!  THIS IS WHY WE ARE AFRAID OF YOU!)
  • We have it implanted in our heads that you won’t believe us – This is probably because even when we do tell the truth, we may slip a small (irrelevant) lie in there, and you detect it and therefore discredit the entire story!  It’s really our own fault, but we don’t see it that way.
  • When we lie we usually lie to end a story or divert attention from the real scenario – This could possibly be because we simply don’t want to talk about it.  I know you guys don’t understand that part about men not wanting to gossip, complain, or focus on details, but it’s in our genetic makeup.
  • Your questions are always loaded questionsEXAMPLE:  “Was she hot?” <~loaded question.  If we say yes, then you will compare yourself to her silently or possibly ask “what is so hot about her?” if you disagree.  Then we have to verbally explain why we think she is hot.  You will then assume or notice that you are not those things and therefore incorrectly assume that you are NOT hot.  Therefore….we just answer “No“.
  • We do it to protect our investment – We have a lot invested in our relationships.  Rocking the boat could be disastrous for our future!  We gotta make sure NOT to cause problems in the future for ourselves.  By lying, we actually do the exact opposite.  We cause many more problems for ourselves.
  • We are afraid to see you cry – We don’t understand female emotions.  We never will.  We don’t try.  Maybe that’s part of the problem, but trust me it’s better this way.  When you begin to cry because we are disagreeing on the color of a couch cushion, we begin to panic.  So we lie, and say “Yes honey, that is Alaska Summer Sky” when it is obviously just a light red.
  • Lastly, men lie, because we really really care about youWe don’t want to see you cry.  We don’t want you to think that you aren’t as hot as the other girl just because we think she is cute.  We don’t want you to think that we don’t want to tell you all the details of our day, we’d just rather watch the game.  We don’t want you to think that we don’t care about anything you say, we just don’t care about Susie from work, or Clarence from accounting.  We don’t want you to think that you’re fat, because we love it when you’re confident in yourself!

4 Responses to Why do guys lie

  1. fizzgigabyte says:

    hmmmm. what about just not doing whatever is lie worthy? i really hope before i leave this great earth I get to understand why men and women are SO different, yet SO want to be together!

    I’m sure women/women and men/men relationships arent any better!

    • Trey says:

      Interesting Fizzgigabyte…I really don’t think we are so very different. We have trouble being together when we focus way too much on ourselves and not nearly enough time appreciating the differences.

  2. Trey says:

    Whoa! This was a huge post and you covered the points about why people lie very well. And I say people (not just men), because women lie too. Commercial break…check out Lil’ Wayne’s song on Youtube, “Men lie, women lie.” It’s a catchy tune, has a funky beat, may be something you can dance to and the title carries an age-old message.

    I don’t want to make it seem like I’m minimizing the offense of lying, as it undercuts integrity and it destroys in one second what takes years and years to build, trust.

    I think the important take-away when lying happens (notice I said when, not if) is why did it happen? And if we’re really looking for the root cause or some serious answers, my bet is that you’ll discover a multitude of factors at play as to why the lie took place. Let’s stop hating the people that lie and focus on eliminating the action of lying. It’s extremely difficult to be 100% transparent in any relationship on any level, but we should strive to get as close to transparency and accepting transparency as possible. We then get closer to eliminating people’s reasoning to lie.

    Show me folks who haven’t lied and I’ll show you twice as many who are doing it right now. It’s like dealing with the next day…God willing and the creek don’t rise, the next day is coming. And when it gets here, we have the choice each and everyday of how to make the most out of the opportunity that the day brings. Such is the same with lying.

    Great topic, G, and terrific guts for opening up the dialogue!

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