Now, many of us good wholesome guys tell the truth. Some brave naive foolish men lie. That lie is followed by immediate regret because 1) men are terrible liars and 2) woman are walking skeptics and are the basset hounds of lies.
The first thing a woman will ask when they catch a guy in a lie is “why did you just lie?”
Now everything in us rushes to our brain and we reminded of when we were kids and our mothers asked us the same question. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a good answer then, but it’s the best option…so we blurt it out…
“I don’t know!”
Well, we do know, and I am here to tell you why men lie:
- We are afraid of you! – Not physically, but emotionally afraid. Afraid of you yelling at us and then us saying things we would REALLY regret (No, that doesn’t mean that we really mean them if we say them in the heat of the moment. It just means that we were cornered. No I’m not comparing you to a rabid dog, that’s not what I meant. I know that’s what it sounded like but…. Well yeah, I know it’s our own fault but, we can’t help it. True, we are adults and not children but…..SEE! THIS IS WHY WE ARE AFRAID OF YOU!)
- We have it implanted in our heads that you won’t believe us – This is probably because even when we do tell the truth, we may slip a small (irrelevant) lie in there, and you detect it and therefore discredit the entire story! It’s really our own fault, but we don’t see it that way.
- When we lie we usually lie to end a story or divert attention from the real scenario – This could possibly be because we simply don’t want to talk about it. I know you guys don’t understand that part about men not wanting to gossip, complain, or focus on details, but it’s in our genetic makeup.
- Your questions are always loaded questions – EXAMPLE: “Was she hot?” <~loaded question. If we say yes, then you will compare yourself to her silently or possibly ask “what is so hot about her?” if you disagree. Then we have to verbally explain why we think she is hot. You will then assume or notice that you are not those things and therefore incorrectly assume that you are NOT hot. Therefore….we just answer “No“.
- We do it to protect our investment – We have a lot invested in our relationships. Rocking the boat could be disastrous for our future! We gotta make sure NOT to cause problems in the future for ourselves. By lying, we actually do the exact opposite. We cause many more problems for ourselves.
- We are afraid to see you cry – We don’t understand female emotions. We never will. We don’t try. Maybe that’s part of the problem, but trust me it’s better this way. When you begin to cry because we are disagreeing on the color of a couch cushion, we begin to panic. So we lie, and say “Yes honey, that is Alaska Summer Sky” when it is obviously just a light red.
- Lastly, men lie, because we really really care about you – We don’t want to see you cry. We don’t want you to think that you aren’t as hot as the other girl just because we think she is cute. We don’t want you to think that we don’t want to tell you all the details of our day, we’d just rather watch the game. We don’t want you to think that we don’t care about anything you say, we just don’t care about Susie from work, or Clarence from accounting. We don’t want you to think that you’re fat, because we love it when you’re confident in yourself!