How to ask for her hand in marriage: I almost threw up in my hand

Before you can get married, you have to ask her parents for their permission/blessing.  Well, that’s how I was raised at least.  Some situations don’t call for that.  My situation and my upbringing, absolutely demanded it!  I planned for it to be perfect….it was a near perfect disaster!

So I emailed her parents and asked if I could take them out to lunch one day(sometime in April). I researched a few restaurants which took me far longer than it should have (I love food and I love cooking, but I don’t know anything about chefery). I gave them a preferred restaurant as well as some alternates. They chose the preferred and we agreed on the time (Noon or so?)

That time and date ended up changing like three times due to L getting in an accident (scary, but she was OK), canceling her spring break,  and some other details I have since forgotten. Eventually, the day had arrived. I didn’t tell L that I was off of work that day so that she wouldn’t suspect anything (not technically lying!).

I get to the restaurant in Alexandria about 30 minutes early and make sure that my reservation went through and that we actually would have a seat! (Turns out that I was the only clown who made a reservation…)

So I decide to wait out front for her parents. 30 (long) minutes pass (its still 15 minutes before the proposed time mind you) and I start to panic! Is this the right restaurant? Is this the right day? Is this the right time??

Meanwhile, I am in nice shirt and tie (maybe no tie I can’t remember…i’m starting to realize my anxiety may have blocked this day out of my head) and its 85 degrees and humid for some idiotic reason in April! Needless to say, I am starting to sweat like a pig on a conveyor belt (I just made that up, sorry).

I try to pull up the email on my phone but for some reason all of my sent mail is gone. In fact, the whole email conversation is gone! (I found out later I accidentally set a rule to delete anything that had my name in the from portion).

The doubt doubles, and the sweat continues to take over my life! It was now exactly time for them to be arriving! I had been standing outside for 45 minutes (my own fault, not theirs), sweating and now I am getting dizzy.

Then 5 minutes later I see them round the corner. Now I am sweating, I have to pee,  my heart is palpitating, my vision is blurry, and my head is dizzy. I am having a heart attack and I forgot my baby aspirin in the car.

I am dying!

We sit down and order food…Amazing by the way! (Wish I could remember the restaurant).  After lunch is done and we talk about some stuff I don’t remember, I started with the speech.

I am sure you both know why I aside you to lunch today, I love your daughter with everything that I am and she has….
Would you like any dessert?
Johnny “get-a-clue” waiter has interrupted my speech! My one shining moment in L’s parents eyes! Crashed by tiramisu man and his flaming cake display! Buzz off!!

So after he leaves, I continue on with the heartwarming display of love and affection and support that I have for their daughter (*smile*).

Then I said something awkward like “would you be my peeps n stuff?” Or maybe it was like, “can we make our families, one big happy mega family. Like voltron, or like megatron or something ultra dominant?” I can’t exactly remember but they said they would be honored. (The we put our rings together and screamed our favorite elements and a dude in silver tights appeared. His name was Captain Planet)

Mrs. L then pulled out their beautiful family ring (You know, the one below) and handed it to me after telling the magnificent history of both the box and the ring.

As we parted ways after lunch, I felt invincible. With their blessing I knew that I had to make her happy forever (that’s not that long right?). It was my duty! I started swearing again.

I walked the whole half mile back to my car with a grip on that box that could have shattered the hope diamond (I’m REALLY strong). I sat in the garage for 5 minutes thinking about where the best place was for the ring in case I got into an accident.

Finally I placed it in my pocket and said, if I get ejected, this ring is coming with me!

The moral of this story is:  No matter how much you plan and prepare for a magnificent and glorious encounter with her parents, it will be a pressure packed near disaster.  But if you keep on truckin’ it will end up being the beginning of a beautiful adventure!


2 Responses to How to ask for her hand in marriage: I almost threw up in my hand

  1. Trey says:

    Holy smokin’ Joe Frazier! That was a great post! If we think about it, every single day that we’re blessed to be alive is on the verge of utter disaster vs. miracle and magnificence. We choose what side we prefer to be on and where we place our faith!

    And forever IS a long dag-on time, but then again, thank goodness you have forever! All males, hubbies, boyfriends and fiance-dudes should understand this…not only in puberty to do we take longer to develop, but in marriage too!

    Love y’all!

  2. fizzgig says:

    finding a hiding spot for something is near impossible isnt it? Every place seems the obvious place to look!

    I think its super sweet that you took her parents to dinner and asked permission, its mushy and romantic, and that’s how it should be =)

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