Weekend Gameplan: Macy’s registry

Ok! So I’m excited. I have played sports my whole life and coached them as well. One thing I have learned is that if you don’t have a gameplan and stick to that gameplan, then you will be embarrassed. I experienced this very thing last week when I went to sign up for our first registry.

Now I figured out how to approach this, I have to figure out what the objective is for this.  In sports, it’s obvious!  We want to win.  I don’t really know what the objective is for a registry….but I know it’s not paper shredders.


Opponent – Macy’s Registry

Objective WIN Pick good stuffs!

Key players to watch – The lady with the scanner.  She will ambush you and sweep kick you in the groin and force you to make bad decisions and create turnovers.  STAY FOCUSED! L is also a key player.  She is the quarterback, running back and tight end (think Brian Urlacher in college….I mean, she’s not a LB….just very versatile).  I am the water boy, team manager, and graduate assistant all rolled into one.  Promote hydration, provide safety equipment, and keep everyone focused on the objective (pick good stuffs in case you forgot).

Key points to focus on – I think that it’s safe to say that I will be very conscious about what I am putting on the list this time.  I need to focus on listening to L (this is where I will fail) and taking notes on what she is looking for in the store.  I then need to shape and mold those things into an educated opinion on what I think we need.  Then, probably eliminate half of that opinion (maybe more), and run it through the gauntlet of checkpoints I will desperately need.  Then GO!

Plays to avoid – Here are some items that I definitely need to avoid when registering this weekend.  Anything Maryland related (GO TERPS), anything Tar Heel related (I know, I “didn’t even go there), anything electronic that doesn’t cook something, anything with animal print (I’m not from jerseys), anything sports related, and clothes (basically just don’t go down the escalator).

Final pep talk – I am pretty positive that I will  not screw this up.  I wouldn’t hesitate to bet against me, but I am sure that I will do a decent job.  I just have to remember that if L leaves me with the scanner lady again, sit down, shut up, and wait patiently.  I can do this!!


2 Responses to Weekend Gameplan: Macy’s registry

  1. Trey says:

    Uuum…this was crazy hilarious! Here’s some feedback:

    * Your gameplan is lovely…you’re right, if you don’t prepare, you prepare to fail!
    * Think about getting things in complete sets…in 4’s, 6’s or 8’s. It’s not cool if you have people over and have to give away your 2 good plates and you and L are eating off the kitchen counter with plastic ware.
    * Scan quality over quantity. Anything else would be uncivilized! Call upon the metrosexual in you (METRO!!!)
    * Give some thought to storage of items, as the smoothe feeling of “crack scanning” eases into your veins. Scanning is very much like using credit cards for all of your purchases…you got stuff, but when you get that bill…oh boy!
    * And if left alone with scan lady, don’t wait for the sweep kick to the family jewels, strike her first! All mixed martial arts, WWF, video game, Naomi Campbell-cell-phone-to-the-head, tazer-type and 3 Stooges moves apply!

    Above all, have fun with it and don’t take it too seriously! One Love!

  2. fizzgigabyte says:

    scan something ridiculously silly and expensive just to see who loves you enough to buy it, and then return it for the money.

    I may be from a dysfunctional family.

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