Registry, oh registry

Yesterday me and L had an urge to start the registry making. Now, I don’t spend much time in Bed, Bath & Beyond but I receive plenty of mail from them (you know you get those 20% off coupons like twice a week too)

My vision of building a registry did not coincide with reality.
Vision: me and L, sprinting through the store wielding scan guns, trying to rack up as many items as possible (like laser tag).
Reality: The helper lady asking if we needed items, L saying no, and me asking why not.

Apparently we don’t need anything except  plates and trinkets and what-nots (this was actually a good thing!).

So we walked through the whole store and towards the end (an hour and a half later of course!), L goes to the bathroom….and leaves me with the scan lady…ALONE!

During this awkward 5 minutes I began to realize how incredibly clueless I am about this whole process. Scan lady asked me “do you need oven mitts?” Easy question, “yes“. “What color“, she asked. I look up at literally 40 oven mittens. (Cold sweats!) “I have no clue.”

I ended up picking out some black mitten (Safe choice I know)

Then, it gets dicey. She keeps asking me questions and I keep saying that I don’t know! It’s becoming more apparent that L is the decision maker when it comes to this stuff!

Longest 5 minutes ever!

Finally she comes back around the corner and good decisions are being made once again (just as I was starting to sweat through my T-shirt).

When we get home, L is going through the registry again and notices a few random items.

Did you go back and get that drink display cooler?
Yeah, its cool!
What about this self cooling drink pitcher!
Yea! It keeps the drink cool for you AND it doesn’t water it down (awesome justification)”
Yeah, I guess that’s OK
Then there is 30 seconds of silence…and L notices a miscellaneous section of the registry.
What the…did you get an ID Defender 6-sheet paper shredder?!?!

Uhh ohh….

I didn’t know what to say!! She asked me if we needed it! I mean, I guess we will have to shred stuff right?!

…L is laughing way too hard at this point. In that five minute span I put on a glorified cooler that L already denied, some cheap pitcher, a black oven mitt, a padded mat for the kitchen(?), and a paper shredder….

This registry thing is harder than it looks!!

Women: do NOT leave your man to do the registry. Even though I wasn’t holding the gun, I still managed to shoot myself in the foot! (figures)


One Response to Registry, oh registry

  1. Trey says:

    The part where you said “uhh ohh” was hilarious! And when L broke into laughter after your desires to shred stuff, that was comedy…ya gotta love us dudes!

    As a married man, my “you’ve stepped in now phrase” is “Ohh!” (say it like Homer Simpson’s “Doh!” and more from the gut like you got sucker punched in the belly and all the air has left your body). Don’t ask me why, but I also say “Got!” (rhymes with hat and say like an aggressive whisper)…which could be followed by and combined with “damn” or “caught” or “to do better” or “to get away from here” or “to duck” or “to seek medical assistance, because I just “Got!” jacked up” from wifey!

    At any rate, because that registry stuff can have you in the twilight zone, the lesson in this, my brother, is reserve your “I don’t knows” for times when you REALLY don’t know and not for those times when you don’t want to make a mistake by giving your opinion or having a preference. Glad you made some choices…crazy, wack and hilarious…but, nevertheless, choices! No action gets you shot and action gets you educated! Love y’all!

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