UPDATE: Well…L aka Ms. Yes aka Ms. I’m-always-right read the post. And responded. And proves, that as always, I am wrong again. Her responses and comments are below in pink. Without further adieu (ugh more french), Take it away L! uhhmm…….i do not like this post…. (great! Here we go!)
OK wait wait wait!
Before you draft up your hate mail and light your torches to come burn my apartment down, hear me out! I was simply wondering what I could get out of this! I mean, that didn’t come out right. How can I benefit from this arrangement. I mean, not arrangement, but, this union. ……I’ll just start with the list:
- Apparently married men make 22% more than single men!
- Property rights (her stuff is my crap – Good and bad)
- Married men have a lower mortality rate when it comes to cancer….morbid, but a benefit nonetheless
- Discounts on auto, homeowners, and health insurance
- Visitation rights in jail (Good to know for her)
- Married men receive higher performance ratings at work (after this past week at work, I desperately need this)
- Married men have more sex (no comment needed)
- Tax breaks and the like (GObama!)
Those are the obvious ones. Now my own personal list 🙂
There are plenty of reasons to get married..none having to do with what you lined out..
- Free good meals!
- Just cuz I can cook, and I’m good, doesn’t mean I’m cooking ALL the meals!! You can cook and do a damn good job too!
- Permanent babysitter (I don’t have kids yet, but you better believe I am planning on it)
- Permanent babysitter!?!? WTH? I do that at my job, I don’t wanna come home and do it for our four kids plus babysit you!!
- Another bank account to add to mine (it’s like getting a pay raise!)
- who said we were joining bank accounts? And even if we do, you get an allowance while I take care of bills.
- Mandatory backrubs (I shouldn’t say this too loud, this goes both ways…ugh!)
- Backrubs!? You told me to sign up for Massage Envy so you didn’t have to give any….if you want one, you sign up as well.
- Someone to talk to when I’m bored
- I agree with this one.
- Someone to call when I lock myself out of my house/car/job/etc.
- You work in Rockville, I work in Alexandria…im not coming to help out at work. Home and car…depends where that is.
- Someone to laugh at my terrible jokes (Lwould say an ego inflater, I say confidence booster)
- I laugh…sometimes at you, sometimes at the joke, sometimes because I can’t believe what you just said.
- Someone to toss me toilet paper (L loves this commercial for some terrible reason)
- I do LOVE this commercial! And we ain’t buying the cheap stuff either!!
- Someone that when you tell them ‘I love you’ they legally have to say it back (romance)
- Legally have to respond, I love you. I dont know of any laws that will lock me up if I don’t say it back. But don’t worry baby, Ill always say it back because I do love you!
Aww…marriage. Gonna be blissful!